you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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