You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
