great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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