Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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