I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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