I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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