Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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