I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
