I cut my penus on the lid.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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