ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
