Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
