I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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