D3 body, D1 cock
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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