it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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