will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She bit a glass in half.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
