he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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