in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
