Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
