BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
