Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
