I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We are two peas in an std pod
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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