My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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