Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
