Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
