Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
