I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You smell like stripper and shame
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
