Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
