yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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