She announced her abortion via fbk
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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