I don't think brook has ever known best
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
