After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
