i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
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My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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