After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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