dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
