Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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