your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
