His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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