So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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