He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
