you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
