ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
