Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
