Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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