I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She's JV to your varsity
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
