You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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