i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
