But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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