She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
