Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
