i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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