I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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