I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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