what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
