Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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