I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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