Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
