I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
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if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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