dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight