so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?