is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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